This post is very spur-of-the-moment and also a lot more personal than other topics I’ve touched upon here before, but I really wanted to get this out of my head and into a blog, especially because I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
I’ve always struggled with my weight, even as a kid. I was never worryingly overweight when I was a kid, but I was chubby and aware from too young of an age. I remember being in third and fourth grade and feeling self-conscious, because I wasn’t as pretty, thin or athletic as my cousins or classmates. People in my family told me I was fat and that I needed to lose weight from a very, very young age, and it triggered a lifetime of issues that follow me to this day.
Truth is, I’m fat. There’s no other way to put it and I don’t want to shy away from using that word by calling myself some nicer terms, like curvy or plus size. Nope, I’m fat. My weight has wavered back and forth for as long as I can remember, but I can’t remember ever not feeling fat, because even at my skinniest points, I always felt like the fat girl.
I managed to lose weight by eating healthy and working out around five years ago, and I kept it off for the better part of the next two years. But a combination of too much eating out and a more sedentary job led to a steady weight gain and now I’m back where I was before I lost all that weight in 2011.
The difference between 2010 and 2016 is that I’m much more confident, happier and self-assured than I was six years ago, but my self-confidence isn’t necessarily proportional to my weight, and so no matter how confident I feel, the problem is that I’m still way overweight and it’s starting to be a health concern.
My mom has told me this countless times, but I didn’t listen and wrote her concerns off, but as you guys might know, I’m back home in Chile now, and got some tests done at the encouragement of a very loving and supportive aunt, and the tests came back with some slightly worrying results.
I won’t dive into the gory details because I don’t even fully understand them, but I understood when one of my cousins who’s currently studying to be a doctor told me that I’m on my way to Type 2 diabetes if I don’t change something about my current diet and exercise more.
Damn. That’s a lot, right?
So that’s my 2016 change. I want to eat healthier, I want to exercise more, I want to keep being confident and happy with my body but I want it to be its healthiest, happiest self. I don’t want to lose weight for societal pressures or cosmetic reasons, I don’t want to lose weight so other people like me. I want to get healthy and take care of my body, because it’s the only one I’ve got and I haven’t been too good to it so far.
On that note, what’s your 2016 change?